Hello Smitty the Veteran Assistant to the Talent Agent of the Stars here!

Well, this recession is really effecting everyone now. There is simply nothing going on. Feeling a bit guilty about the amount time that I have been using work to enhance my “Second Life” resume, I took one for the agency. I have voluntarily laid myself off.  My boss shouldn’t have to pay my salary during this time. I don’t want to bankrupt the agency. Without the company I do not exist.

It’s a slow time of year to begin with for Episodic TV and things are tight. I can’t justify my $400 a week salary. Morty, my boss, usually spends this time of year in his place in the Caymans. I haven’t heard from him in about two weeks, so I just decided to type up an email to let him know. Our daily phone log has gone from 12 a day to 1-ish..

God, I’m good…for the Greater Good.

However, Mother is quite demanding around the month of May and an elaborate Mother's Day  present will still need to be purchased. According to her bookmarks she likes a store called the Pleasure Chest.com. And I aim to please! A son can only give his mother something that touches her deep inside. So I purchased a $100 gift card.

I have 15 years of client assistance and thought I would start pounding out some resumes. I have secured my layoff position!

I am now Head Busser in the best Cheesecake Factory in all of Woodland Hills. It is so pleasantly strange to go to work and have someone else to talk to. Also the STARS dine here. I filled Marcia Cross’s herbal iced tea twice! I kept asking her if how she felt, and if she was happy with her representation.. Regrettably she said “Yes.” I gave her my card. Well, it’s my bosses card photoshopped. But still….

Also the rest of the crew are ACTORS and ACTRESSES. I have found a gold mine of unsigned talent. I’ve beaten the Bobby Ball agency to the source of all that is good. I hate those smug bastards. They have been number one for many years. Soon I will rule the hipsters of the 818!

Most of the actresses have only appeared in Web Videos, they sent me their links from something called “Come, FIESTA!” and “Actsforcash.com” I have tried looking them up but Mother’s account blocks more sophisticated art films. I suspect she doesn’t care for subtitles.

DAMN YOU NET NANNY!!!

I trust these actresses. Sure, they are young and untested. Not like the veteran’s I work with.

But promising like a herd of young Marcia Cross’s.

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