You Can Tell |
Written by Kate Crash | |||
Kate Crash can also be read here . "You can tell, she was bred to be beautiful and full of sorrow." That is what she would whisper to me about girls like me, desperate for attention and neon lights and rich boys and fast times with screaming hearts and never quiet minds.
"all this sorrow and sex don't mean a damn." and my insides roll over like a summer into storm, she reads me so well, I feel so alone and sometimes the heartache is too much I could just cry out and my scream would be so loud that all of me would go with it, to fly red above the world, out into the stars and be burned up, burned up, but happiness is never so far, especially if forgiveness can sew my heart shut long enough to keep on. "it's too hard to start over," she has told me before and now her new seven years now husband starts knocking at the door, "wrap wrap wrap warp" I can feel his blue collar knuckles and his tequila song, knock knocking to come to condemn her for being a woman. she closes her eyes at his call and looks down her eyes are Africa and we're in the states, her lips part and words form justificatory waves "love is not all fire and passion, it too is about sacrifice and inaction." She thinks I have yet to learn this, patience, settling for less. She is right. I walk to the window and raise it open. Her answer leaves me still empty, I know the decision is mine, I try her one more time before hopping out the window before that man comes inside, I try one more time to let her have the chance at a decent answer, a decent life, something not settled for, something more… unlike her, I left. "No, mom. Tell my why you stay and how I can stop loving him."
|