How I Should Be Doing Things |
Written by Greg Mills | |||
Looking accomplished is the way to go. Wear your clothes loose, and orally fidget with a unlit Schimmelpennick, moving it to the corners of your mouth when you talk (don’t take it out!). Walk slow, stop and look at random things in the street and then shake your head in a world-weary and bemused fashion. Carry an unloaded shotgun and a glass of Pimm’s everywhere. Particularly the video store. At the video store, ask the clerk if they have popular American films dubbed into other languages, or are at least subtitled. Shake your head in a world-weary and bemused fashion when the kid shrugs. Go to the Dairy Queen, order a banana split and douse the thing in Cognac. It’s up to you if you want to light it on fire. If the clerk is attractive, wink at them. Come in next week and give him or her a limoge box filled with cocaine as a tip.
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