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Teen Hearthrob: KIM JON

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Let’s Execute Lee Salem
Battles of Armchair Warriors
Why 100 Million Americans Don’t Care!

Exhuming Atticus Finch

I Apologize for the Amateur Sex Tape

A Cultural History of Crotchkicking

Bolgia 11: Demand Better Consuimerism

Media Life: Fuck, Marry or Kill

Fistful of Murrow: Crackpotifornia

Dave Vs. Dr. Phil

Confessions of Fat Nude Man Eating Cookie Dough

Killing Joke: Tales from the Digital Underground

I’ll give you a Perfect Match,your face and my ass.com!

By Dave

Click to read the previous article

Don’t go away Mad, since you’ve been had. Don’t go away sad, don’t go away mad. Just GO AWAY!

-Blondie

MORE ON PERFECT MATCH.COM

 SELF SERVING???  MOI????

 Well I WAS over the Dr. Phil thing. Dr Phil’s apologized graciously (and even gave me some advice...thanks Dr. Phil!) and everyone was supposed to move on. However, the perfectmatch.com people are really mean folks. In fact, if they had just apologized and tried to clear up their error, there wouldn’t be anything more to write about. Preferably, I would be writing about some groovy gal (I prefer a Tina Fey type) that they tried to hook me up with.

Think about it, had the perfectmatch.com people just did what they promised in the first place none of this would be happening..

Perfectmatch.com also threw a special screening of the movie HITCH and were going to hook people up there too. However, along with the special guests (the Dr. Phil participants) they combined it with an advance word of mouth screening.

Word of Mouth and Test screenings are the bottom of the barrel. Just off the turnip truck actors standing in front of movie theaters and giving away free tickets. It’s always a zoo creating a crowd of the cheapest people in the world; think of an Irish Pub on St. Patty’s day without the fun. People who prefer to stand in line for two hours to see a 90 minute movie without free popcorn. When I got there a half hour early, there weren’t any seats, and I left.

Then I get my first unflattering review, an email from perfectmatch.com that went a little like this:

A bit self serving - but we understand where your coming from. (EDITOR’S NOTE: They misspelled “your,” not me)

Thanks for your comments David. We appreciate them.

 Duane

Self Serving??? Moi??? I think writing an article on a free website with a readership of less than 300 is far less self-serving than going on a popular worldwide television show with millions of viewers to get a bounce in membership FEES. When that stunt has perfectmatch.com touting their good deeds, which never really existed, it’s purely cynical and evil. Then they leave Dr. Phil holding the bag!

Well these people have no shame. Perfectmatch.com cancelled my free year membership to the dating site. Boo-hoo. It’s their site, they can do what they want. What are they gonna do next - cancel my membership to the Columbia House Record and Tape club? My Ralph’s card?

Now, I can’t prove that perfectmatch.com did this…yet, BUT on the same day my membership was cancelled, EVERYONE on the Crackpotpress.com team got cryptic emails about a storm coming. They all had viruses attached. Yes, I got a virus from internet dating.

This leads me to two universal questions:

Is it really THAT hard to simply do the right thing?

And is it easier to attack rather than negotiate?

So here is the end of the story, I’m hoping, unless of course they give me more to write about. From perfectmatch.com, I got no date, I got no free movie (although a friend did treat me to a screening of Inside Deep Throat recently, that wasn’t a date), I got no free membership. 

Also, the Dr. Phil episode didn’t even air in Los Angeles. Because it rained continuously for a half an hour, it was pre-empted by STORM WATCH 2005.

But on the bright side, I know in my heart that perfectmatch.com will have some kind of karmic payback (an SEC investigation would be nice).

Dave

cc: The Security and Exchange Commission

 

 

 

UPDATE: ICE ON MANHATTAN!
BLOG AVP: SHOCKER!
Rachel Wacholder and Elaine Youngs go splitsville

Prep yourself for this weekend’s Coney Island OPEN!

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