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EDITORS NOTE: AMAZON (AHEM!) “DISCONTINUED” GREG’S Review work. I received a communiqué’ from him last week informing me that the “Punk asses at Amazon took down my mutherfucking reviews.” We attempted to brunch at his beautiful Tenderloin Townhouse, just a block away from theater and arts district of O’Farrell Avenue in San Francisco. He looked a horror, unkempt, unshaven-- a man bathed in his own essence. His flat smelt of embarrassment and failure, the world’s ugliest scents. The only other guest invited was “Uncle Fluffy” Greg’s beloved stuffed rabbit (no, no longer just a “bunny” is he). He was Greg’s childhood friend, Mascot and “helper” during the tricky time known as adolescence. Rather than the pink ribbon that adorned him in his youth, there was now a pair of green plastic handled safety scissors torn through the jugular of this doomed beast. It was obvious by the platitude of spent syringes surrounding him, that Uncle Fluffy had gone mad on the seduction and succulence that is know as “Lady H.” and had become “no longer desirable.” Greg did the only thing a sane man could which is, of course, impale the insane taxamarodent plaything with a pair of kindergartner’s saftey scissors.
Poor Uncle Fluffy. More importantly, Poor Greg.
What could I do the cheer my befuddled chum? It came to me, he was a man who no longer knew what he wanted. We took an inventory. “Greg, Damn you, What do you WANT, man?”
Together we created an AMAZON WISH LIST. Ah, what humanitarian therapy we enjoyed together after our brunch of eggs, spam, Nescafe and scrum. Please join with me in reviewing Greg’s newly created “AMAZON WISH LIST” Let’s pick him out something snappy to revive that glorious spirit and soul.
It will make Greg and the Staff of Amazon.com, glorious... again.
DISCLAIMER:
Please DO NOT BUY ANYTHING off of the Amazon Wish List.
Moron.
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