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Hillary Skank Strikes Again
By Giles Weaver
 Not fully satisfied with the fact that she forgot her husband’s name when she won an Oscar (it’s Chad Lowe, Hillary), Hillary Skank is at it again. As if the dissolution of a marriage isn’t painful enough, regardless of the reasons or who is involved, Ms. Skank decided that the whole world should hear HER version of events, which include the malicious trashing of her ex-husband in the feature article of the upcoming Vanity Fair. I know that as the world burns, I’ve been preoccupied with why Hillary and Chad’s marriage has failed. This is some really hard hitting investigative reporting. Forget Iraq, why couldn’t Hillary and Chad keep it together?
However, never in my wildest imagination, did I believe that I would actually get to read all about it in a magazine INTERVIEW. Sure, the tabloids are going to print semi-truths, and perhaps court papers end up leaked on purpose to the Smoking Gun a la Denise “I Have No Career So I Married a Sheen and Now I want to be a Debutante Divorcee” Richards, but for Skank to knowingly trash her husband in public for what is a private issue – addiction – in order to promote herself is beyond the pale. Just another stellar moment for the modern American woman, who will not be content until they’ve destroyed everything and everyone around them.
I’m sure the men are just lining up to date Hillary Skank now, knowing that anything that may happen will end up in a magazine with her on the cover the second her new movie is about to be released. Why would any man trust her again? And who will devour this magazine like piranha?? Other women of course, who can’t get through one day without being obsessed with other people’s lives and the thrill of watching someone else’s relationship go down in flames. The only marriages men care about are their own and those of their immediate family. Women, however, are deeply fascinated with anything that doesn’t concern them or matter in their lives or the world. They will all be chomping at the bit to slap down the money for Vanity Fair so they can say, “Wow, Hillary, you are so brave to take time out of your busy schedule of being a pampered actress to publicly crucify your spouse for cheap publicity. I wish I could be just like you.” And they do. They do wish they could be just like her.
 Is this a sweeping generalization? Perhaps. But take a look around the beaches this summer and see what the gals are reading then tell me I’m wrong. To these women it’s just more juicy gossip – just more red meat to fill whatever void they’ve been constructing since puberty. To Chad Lowe it is public humiliation that will send his representation running around Hollywood to convince the people who hire actors that he is not a liability because of his “problem,” which apparently was taken care of years ago. You want to do a magazine interview that is fifteen pages of patting yourself on the back? Go to town. It’s all about you. But to publicly threaten a man’s livelihood is remarkably cruel. I extend my outrage to the writer of the article and the editors of Vanity Fair as well. Perhaps they will allow me to pry into their personal lives and publish it for the world to see?
But I guess not, because women don’t spend their husband’s or father’s money buying magazines about people who aren’t famous. Chad Lowe – we’ve got your back brother. You are DEFINITELY better off without that Skank.
Find a wife who remembers your name.
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“I won’t play the sap for you”-- Dashell Hammet
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