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The Greg Mills Interview:
Filty Sock Puppets!


Media Life: Dear Emmy Elders


Shameless Celeb: Hilary Skank Strikes Again!

Teen Hearthrob: KIM JON

Media Like: Showkillers
 

Let’s Execute Lee Salem
Battles of Armchair Warriors
Why 100 Million Americans Don’t Care!

Exhuming Atticus Finch

I Apologize for the Amateur Sex Tape

A Cultural History of Crotchkicking

Bolgia 11: Demand Better Consuimerism

Media Life: Fuck, Marry or Kill

Fistful of Murrow: Crackpotifornia

Dave Vs. Dr. Phil

Confessions of Fat Nude Man Eating Cookie Dough

Killing Joke: Tales from the Digital Underground

Nude Women vs. Naked Ladies

By Greg

Frankly, I'm torn.

Nude Women enjoy yoga and long distance running. Naked Ladies play paddle ball down at the lake.

Nude Women keep journals. Naked Ladies do the Word Scramble.

Nude Women are black and white. Naked Ladies have poor color separation.

Nude Women play harps. Naked Ladies dance on top of pianos.

Nude Women study architecture. Naked Ladies are undeclared.

Nude Women backpack Tibet. Naked Ladies watch Animal Planet.

Nude Women have shy smiles. Naked Ladies have large gums.

Nude Women skip stones. Naked Ladies whittle.

Nude Women drive old Saabs. Naked Ladies drive Solid Gold Cadillacs.

Nude Women have cats. Naked Ladies have little dogs named “Free Show”.**

Nude Women sunbathe on river rocks. Naked Ladies go skinny dipping off a rope swing.

Nude Women aesthetic accessory of choice: peacock feather. Naked Ladies: SPARKLERS!

Nude Women defend public libraries. Naked Ladies set horses free.

Nude Women are published. Naked Ladies are heard.

Nude Women sit on the veranda. Naked Ladies hang out on lawn chairs.
 

** A favorite joke among 8 year old boys:

Once there was a lady who had a little dog she called Free Show.
Free Show always got out of the house and ran up and down the street.
One day, Free Show got real sick, so the lady took him to the vet.
The vet said keep Free Show inside or he will get even sicker!!!
So when they got home, the lady told Free Show:
“I am going to take a shower. Stay inside, okay?”
So the lady took all her clothes off to get in the shower
and Free Show escaped!!!!!!
So the lady ran out of the house naked and yelled:
“Free Show! Free Show!”

A classic. |

 

 

UPDATE: ICE ON MANHATTAN!
BLOG AVP: SHOCKER!
Rachel Wacholder and Elaine Youngs go splitsville

Prep yourself for this weekend’s Coney Island OPEN!

CRACKPOT PRESS REMEMBERS
DOUG WEEKE