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Karen: Looking for Lust at the World Series
Batter up!
 Josh Beckett changed baseball for me. I don’t watch baseball and I’m damn pissed that that it’s putting a cramp in my viewing habits right now. But in September/October 2003 my feelings on and knowledge of baseball changed.
My boyfriend at the time didn’t love sports, but got involved in the playoffs/championships/final four part of the games. So when the 2003 baseball playoffs (or whatever they’re called) came around I was willing to pay attention since I’m such a damn good girlfriend. I like stories, so Boyfriend filled me in on the background of players, why we hate the Yankees (“They’re overpaid fat fucks”) why we wanted the White Sox to win (Yankees feud, Babe Ruth curse and all that) and I was willing to play along.
And then I saw the Florida Marlins pitcher. Suddenly I loved baseball. I no longer cared about feuds and salaries, I wanted the Marlins to take it all the way so I could have the pleasure of staring at Josh Beckett every night. That hair! Those teeth! That stance! I have never been so involved in a sport, not even football when I went through my Joe Montana phase. Boyfriend and I were together every night watching baseball. I pretended like I cared about the game, like it was very important that those fat fuck Yankees lose. And yes, I wanted the Yankees to lose, buy only because I had my own agenda. Yes yes yes let Beckett continue to pitch! He’s not tired!. Take it all the way Marlins! When Beckett got the final out solidifying their win, and then when he was voted MVP, I swear I cried.
Last year I had Johnny Damon and Bronson Arroyo. But now that the Red Sox are out, who do I have left? There is no one to root for in baseball anymore, so bring back Michael Scofield.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Karen I have some good news for you! I have carefully consulted certain females about your predicament. The general consensus is that there is slim pickens amongst the teams who are left.
However we have three candidates. Please keep in mind that one of these three will be eliminated either tonight or tomorrow. I will find some subtle way to update the site and let you know who it is:
From St. Louis via the Oakland A’s Mark Mulder.
From the Chicago White Sox, Jon Garland
From the Housto n Astros, Andy Pettite. Downside: Used to play for the Yankees in 2003 and his middle name is Eugene
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