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Questions. From New York City. |
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Written by Greg Mills
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Why do New Yorkers tolerate such swillish coffee?
Can everyone in one of the largest cities in the world be better dressed than me, including
small children?
Is the shambling comic book dork community that attractive women go to comic book
shops in New York City?
How is it that every neighborhood in New York is the NEXT BIG THING?
You are playing music at a venue in Williamsburg where I have paid five dollars to listen
to you play music, why do you have to be such a whining pile of suck ass? (That’s just
the first “band”, Falcon and English Department were really, super good.)
Could the main branch of the New York Public Library be somehow baked into a pie so I
can eat the fucking thing?
Could we just get some more goddamn parks in here? Huh?
Do hotel maids sense nudity?
If you are the cab driver that drove me in from JFK, could you send me the phone number
of your dealer? Because you were in a place that I’d like to visit one day.
If I go to an 11:45 pm showing of “The Departed” in Times Square on a Sunday night,
how can the next showing be sold out?
I mean what do these people do during the day?
How many suicides have been attempted by employees of the Times Square Toys R Us?
That place is a goddamn nightmare! It’s a smurf’s BDSM dungeon.
Why, at one point, did I freakily and involuntarily pronounce “hot dog” as “Hooawt
Dawg” to a startled vendor?
Is it possible I am a New Yorker trapped in a Californian’s body?
How long can the “Lion King” possibly run?
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