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Conan O'Brien: Champion of the Unemployed PDF Print E-mail
Written by Dave Howard   

Congratulations Conan‭! ‬You are now among the‭ ‬10%‭ ‬of‭ ‬us Americans on unemployment.‭ ‬Like me,‭ ‬you are in Los Angeles,‭ ‬a mighty‭ ‬#4‭ ‬in the nation behind Detroit,‭ ‬Miami, and our odd cousin to the south, Riverside. Befriend me on Linked In (I'll give you a reccomendation) and here are some tips to make your unemployment more un-unpleasant.

As one of the unemployed,‭ ‬I champion your nightly vitriolic rant against‭ "‬the man.‭" ‬I would have loved to rake my former idiot boss over the coals to millions of folks.‭ ‬That's awesome.‭ ‬The‭ ‬35‭ ‬million of us without jobs all stand up and cheer.‭ ‬You are entitled to bitch this week.‭ Your letter on Tuesday was the most perfectly crafted "shit sandwich" I have ever read. That's a good thing.


Getting let go stings,‭ ‬doesn't it‭? ‬It's humiliating to get let go from any gig,‭ ‬much less having it done in public.‭ ‬To make matters worse,‭ ‬Jay is acting like some gloaty cheerleader who just got asked by your boyfriend to the prom.‭ ‬That sucks.‭ It's terrible that your entire staff, who just relocated, will be looking for work next week.

We have a couple of things in common.‭ ‬I was fed to the lions by a co-worker who wanted my job.‭ ‬I had an idiot boss‭ (‬by the way,‭ ‬he lost his company‭)‬.‭ ‬I was given a payout worth tens of millions of dollars.‭

Oh wait,‭ ‬no I wasn't.‭ ‬I was given my remaining pay for the week and told to have a nice Christmas.‭ L‬ater, I had to beg for my remaining vacation pay.‭

After the initial shock wears off, the first month of unemployment is pretty fun.‭ ‬You get reacquainted with albums and books you have been ignoring.‭ ‬You spend a little more time in the gym.‭ ‬Find the best sandwich place in your neighborhood.‭

A year later,‭ not so much‬.‭ ‬My wife and I have been sharing a one-bedroom in West Hollywood.‭ ‬We can't afford to upgrade.‭ ‬Remember when you joked about becoming a barista‭? ‬Have you actually attempted to apply at a Starbucks‭? ‬They aren't hiring either.‭ ‬I suppose you could take a temp gig hosting the Emmy's or something.‭ ‬I'm with three temp agencies and haven't been able to get an opportunity to work since February.

And I am one of the lucky ones.‭

So,‭ ‬you took hit.‭ ‬Man up and move on.‭  ‬Work with a charity,‭ ‬I suggest this one.

In any case,‭ ‬stop acting like some privileged Harvard brat who didn't get a pony at graduation.‭

You are one of us now.‭  ‬If we can get through it,‭ ‬so can you.

 

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