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Global Warming: Prepare vs. Pondering
Written by Dave Howard   

Global WarmingRecently I read his about Global Warming:

“The problem, you see, is the population time-bomb. Our planet can accommodate one billion people. But as we breed and head towards ten the earth has no choice but to regards us as a threat. {The Earth} is like every other living organism. Faced with a virus, she raises her temperature and this fever will continue until her ice-caps have disappeared…. Our only real hope is to adapt to this new environment.”

Now regardless the source is Marvel’s Secret Service #3 there is really something to cerebrally munch on.


Big Hugger Kerri Walsh Has Pink Eye
Written by Dave Howard   

Aw crap. Kerri Walsh has come out and said that she has contracted Pink Eye - which is godawful. According to Dr. Wikipedia, it comes with a sore throat and cold symptoms.

She gave it to her husband but  not the kids. But folks this more than a cold, it can wipe your shit out. I would have expected this from douchebag and grillmaster Ryan Lochte but the Golden Girls don’t go trolling the east end for hookers. They may hug just a bit too much though.

But wow, think of the intimidation factor! Expect to start hearing teams start ducking out the way when a block comes their way.

She will keep playing but as we all know Kerri Walsh Jennings is not only a ferocious player but a big hugger.  So I would guess this will also curtail most of the popular on-court celebrations that seem to happen after every point scored. Last Olympics she got an endorsement deal for that shoulder tape she wore (I believe that technology is also used for boobs in tight dresses) can Purell be far behind? See some great Kerri hugs after the jump.

They're Finally Back. FINALLY!
Written by Dave Howard   

Helllllllooooo Ladies,

I sort of fell off the Pro Beach VolleybaKerri Walsh Misty May Team USA 2012ll Rah-Rah wagon when the AVP went under a few years ago. With the best players opting to only compete internationally, it just wasn’t the alternative All-American sport that it had been in previous years.

The Manhattan Beach Open turned in to a snooze with a bunch of well-meaning unknowns trying to keep my interest. They were fine players but made me noddy. I longed for the excitement of Misty May, Kerri Walsh, Elaine Youngs, Nicole Branagh, Rachel Wacholder and, of course, Team Crackpot Jen Kessy and April Ross. But ya couldn’t see them live and rarely on tv here in SoCal, the birthplace of the beach. Beach Volleyball wasn’t dead to me but it needed a good electro-jolt to get it moving again.


Chokin' the Chik-Fil-A: My Half-Assed Boycotting Career
Written by Dave Howard   

A native Californian, I first discovered Chik-Fil-A at a baby’s first birthday party (served with champagne bar) sometime last year. I’d never even heard of them but the meat was succulent and crispy but that could have just been the sparkling wine talking. It was an excellent pairing and I ate a ton of it.

The Southerners had rejoiced at the fact that Chik-Fil-A had finally made it to Los Angeles. On the first day, one Giles Weaver snarfed down three consecutive sandwiches his wife had brought him after auditioning for the X Factor.

My Texan wife often talked about a certain sandwich that was mayo, bread, chicken and came with a pickle slice. But, alas, this was a delicacy that I would never be able to sample at Hollywood’s only Chik-Fil-A. But I soon learned it was some southern Baptist weirdo running the joint with a clever albeit kind of annoying advertising campaign. Also, it’s located on a hellish corner to get in to – worse than any Trader Joe’s parking lot. It was good, but I didn’t need to knock myself out there. I can make chicken too.

And up until that time, the Chik-Fil-A folks had kept their opinions to themselves. Though we knew what was going on. Then came the big announcement, Chik-Fil-A is the deep fried poultry sandwich of bigots. So no more Chik-Fil-A at all for us. It isn’t that big of a sacrifice, I’ve eaten it once.

It got the wife and I to thinking, there are long paper trails for every corporation how can we possibly know where we want to vote with our wallets?

In the past there have been a few indiscretions:

5 Tricks to Becoming a Conservative Blogger
Written by Dave Howard   


Ann Colter BigotThere seems to be a successful formula on the Right that the left seems to ignore.   So listen up and let’s see what we can learn from them. The blogosphere is important. This is why I am predicting a Romney landslide in the fall.

But we can still turn this around, if we follow the examples of right wing bloggers.

Sleep Training is God Awful
Written by Dave Howard   

Sleep TrainingIn the first year of parenting, there is very little sleep or general rest involved. When discussing “trying again” we’ve decided to table it until we have the snappiness to have sex again, let alone the energy to actually parent a second child.

This is partly because Lord James doesn’t sleep through the night. He wakes up howling, several times a night. After talking to Dr. Ped we tried the Sleep Training aka “The Cry It Out” method.

Who Stands with Rush?
Written by Dave Howard   

Rush Limbaugh is Sponsored by No OneYou can really find out who your friends are in a time of crisis. Remember the time your tongue accidentally slipped in to your mother-in-law’s mouth? Perhaps you attempted to dry-hump Angelina's leg at the backstage press room?

Were you really expected NOT to do those things?

Or maybe just on a daily basis you spew enough dickheadness that your friends have just decided they’d have enough.

Rush Limbaugh is unapologetic and proud man, who knows that folks will see that things his way once he has a chance to explain it. As he often mentions, he is one of the smartest men in America and is always a victim of the drive-by media.

The drive-by media now includes sponsors. Now that the initial brew-hahaha has settled around the Sandra Fluke case, I decided to tune-in to the Excellence in Broadcasting Network to see which sponsors I needed to boycott. And it seems that none have returned, at least no major ones.

Gloat it loud. Gloat it proud. Rush Limbaugh has no friends.


SCOTUS: Strip Search Them Pot Smoking Teenage Girls.
Written by Dave Howard   

Now the GOP and their pundit minions keep proclaiming that they aren’t women haters. But, let’s face it, they are. And now the Supreme Court is just a bunch of GOP good ole frat boys running amok.

And the problem is we can’t do a goddamn thing about it. Or can we?

Six Magic Ideas to Bring Fans Back to Dodger Games
Written by Dave Howard   

Magic Johnson Buys DodgersFinally, Magic Johnson has surfaced through the sweaty hordes of jackass Non-Angelenos to save the Dodgers. He’s got work to do. But at least he understands the town.

This will be my first year in five that I won’t have a Dodgers ticket package. It’s a hassle, expensive and frankly, just not any fun anymore.

Here’s what Magic needs to do:


25 Fun Facts About Teen Dream Kim Jong II
Written by Greg Mills   



1. Kim Jong Il spends two hours a day standing in front of a mirror in wooly
chaps and a large cowboy hat, practicing the English phrase
“Howdy! I’m a cowpoke!”

2. Kim Jong Il respects Funkedelic, but thinks Parliament is straight up
jam for getting the hos partying all retarded.

3. Kim Jong Il is in AA, and attends the meetings at Pyongyang Double
Tree under the pseudonym of Freddy. He doesn’t actually go in. He sits
outside in his ZiL limousine chugging Hennessey.

FAMILY CIRCUS: A Shattering Read.
Written by Greg Mills   

Because Bil Keane is dead now, I decided to re-run this bit.

Below you'll find some Amazon reviews for various Family Circus books written by your truly. I’ve received many, many helpful ratings.

Grandma Was Here by BIL KEANE

Edition: Paperback Price: $3.99
Availability: This item is currently unavailable. 33 used from $0.78
The thriller that will chill yer to the bones. , March23, 2007

Picture: a girl of 6, let's call her Dolly. She's in a dusty attic, trying to stash a forbidden Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers from her tyrannical father, Pastor Bil. She finds a loose board and finds...the photos. Her grandmother Thelma, string of pearls sparkling, standing next to Pol Pot...on a pyramid of human skulls.

So starts this summer's must read thriller.

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