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"Defendor" Fails To Save the Day
Written by Dave Howard   

Some things sound really great on paper. Woody Harrelson plays a local simpleton who dresses up as the superhero, “Defendor” at night. Donning a duct tape logo, a mason jar of bees as his weapon and Christian Bale's “Dark Night” growl, he takes to the night in search of his archenemy, Captain Industry. The fact that he doesn't really know who Captain Industry is doesn't deter him. The film's uneven journey switches from a satire of vigilantism to a dark comedy to a tragedy. None of the genres are explored enough to make the flick work.

 
Your Oscar Pool Edge: The Shorts
Written by Administrator   

It is that time of year again when I help you dig out the those last winning points in your Oscar pool. The ever so tricky categories of Best Live Action and Animated Short can easily break any non-sanctioned company morale booster. In a quality statuette keno, these two categories should be weighted.

There is one thing I do have to admit. In the three years that I have been reviewing these, I have gone a humdrum 3 for 6 (but in baseball that is a .500 average).  In my own defense, I was tripped up by a Disney vs. Pixar face off last year. They split the vote and gave the Oscar to the Japanese flick, which I didn't care for so much. So, if I don't feel trustworthy to you , you should go check out the two programs at the Nuart or, if in Santa Ana, at the Southcoast Village 3.

For the first time in a while there is not a soley American film in any of the categories. However, subtitle haters take note, most of them are in English; even the ones from France.

So, here comes your quickie handicap.

 
Web TV: LET'S GET LAID
Written by Dave Howard   


Remember that show about Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and their Mom?

"Let's Get Laid," a webseries launching February 17, is not your standard pre-menopausual sex comedy. The series centers around Melissa and Jenn , two entertainment assistants, who are klutzing their way through the Los Angeles dating scene; the land of ridiculously high expectations.  Unlike their New York matriarch counterparts, the duo is broke (one still lives with her folks) and are looking for Mr. Right Now rather than Mr. Right.

 
Right Wing Rallies Around Nut Who Crashes Plane Into a Building
Written by Crackpot   

Joseph Andrew Stack, the nutjob who crashed the plane into the Austin IRS buidling already has a commemorative Facebook page. He released a suicide note detailing a rant of teabagging/Beck opinions. Because of the nature of this page, Facebook must have to take it down. The average poster seems to have extreme right wing view and see him as a fallen hero.

The page itself has some very frightening (Unedited)  posts on it:

 
Crappy Romantic Dinner Advice from the Internet
Written by Dave Crackpot   

 

ImageWhen it comes to  romance, there is a lot of crappy advice on these internets. While researching a romantic dinner recipe, I came across the following.

From NZGIRL (Is that short for Nazi Girl?)

ADVICE ON COOKING HIM A ROMANTIC DINNER

Despite the temptation to make a dish with a huge wow factor, you’re generally best to stick to what you know. Your beautiful self and the romantic atmosphere will impress him whether you serve oysters or spaghetti bolognaise, so don’t cause yourself too much stress – anything you’ll both enjoy is perfect!

Wrong.Wrong. Wrong.

Oysters are WAY too easy to fuck up. Don’t serve them unless you are trained professional or want something unexpected in your lap. Go with shrimp. Spaghetti Bolognaise… my ass. Doesn’t matter what you call it, it says something “Chef Boyardee” about you.

From: EHOW . This one’s awesome, if your man is a lipstick lesbian

 

 
What Really Killed Casey Johnson?
Written by Dave Howard   

When Casey Johnson's autopsy came out, there was a subtext that was ignored. The Doctor's office blew it off as diabetic ketaocidosis. This means her blood sugars got too high, she went into a diabetic coma and died. Here's the problem, it is highly unlikely that a lifelong diabetic would die this way. To clear up a misconception, you can't just eat a piece of cake and check out. This took work.

 
Why Air America Failed.
Written by Dave Howard   

Air America FailDEAR GOD! Has anyone else heard?

With the election of Scott Brown and the failure of Air America the progressive movement is dead. It's on all the news channels... even MSNBC!

Air America went under for the same reason why Martha Oakley's campaign failed. They were arrogant. They assumed folks would want to hear the truth. With Fox News polling as the most trusted news source in America, people want to hear what they want to hear.

 
Homo Rehab Camp was FABULOUS!
Written by Ted Haggard   



ImageEditor’s Note: I am always open to submissions. Ten years ago, I got this piece from a
young Ted Haggard and I didn’t return his emails because, quite frankly, he creeped me
out. I totally forgot about it. However, I stumbled across this piece while cleaning out my
inbox. Since he’s famous, and I am not, I decided to finally run it.

Last year, I was committed to Homosexual Rehab by my Father Pastor Bil and my
mother,  Mary Jessica . It all stems from an incident at someplace called “Trunks”
(Jimmy call me, you will be thrilled with my progress…you were right about everything
that night! Big hug!). But, frankly, my mother found underpants that didn’t have my name
stitched it in the next day.

Thank goodness they did this for me. Homosexual Rehab Camp was FABULOUS.

 
The Crappy Gig
Written by Dave Crackpot   

burgers job unemploymentWe’ve all had “The Crappy Gig.” In fact, many of us now long for those minimum wage jobs we had as a teenager. At the time, us Burger Flippin’, Lazy Bookstoreclerkin’, Kite Store Gurus were empowered. For the first time in our lives we were making our own cash.

Yet, at same time, these are considered the crappiest gigs of all. But how crappy were they really?

 
Howl Clips.
Written by Administrator   

Not sure how I feel about this. Inititally it comes off a little too self serving for the actors. I have always had a problem with actors trying to portray the beats. They tend to portray legends rather than real people.

 

 
Conan O'Brien: Champion of the Unemployed
Written by Dave Howard   

Congratulations Conan‭! ‬You are now among the‭ ‬10%‭ ‬of‭ ‬us Americans on unemployment.‭ ‬Like me,‭ ‬you are in Los Angeles,‭ ‬a mighty‭ ‬#4‭ ‬in the nation behind Detroit,‭ ‬Miami, and our odd cousin to the south, Riverside. Befriend me on Linked In (I'll give you a reccomendation) and here are some tips to make your unemployment more un-unpleasant.

As one of the unemployed,‭ ‬I champion your nightly vitriolic rant against‭ "‬the man.‭" ‬I would have loved to rake my former idiot boss over the coals to millions of folks.‭ ‬That's awesome.‭ ‬The‭ ‬35‭ ‬million of us without jobs all stand up and cheer.‭ ‬You are entitled to bitch this week.‭ Your letter on Tuesday was the most perfectly crafted "shit sandwich" I have ever read. That's a good thing.

 
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