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The "Bitch Slap" The Fest Circuit Needed
Written by Dave Howard   

imageBITCH SLAP,‭ ‬brought to you by Herucles and Xena‭ ‬vets‭ ‬Eric Gruendemann and Rick Jacobson,‭ ‬is a‭  ‬helluva low-budget ride.‭ ‬This boobs a-blazing nihilistic action-comedy embraces the‭  ‬genius of Russ Meyer then takes it into the‭ ‬21st century with‭  ‬hysterically cheap green screen effects and‭  ‬razor tongued dialogue that would make Quentin Tarrantino blush.‭ It also boasts costumes a certain editor-in-chief would covet. It's in theaters and on VOD.

 
Confessions of a Nude Fat Man Eating Cookie Dough
Written by Greg Mills   

"At the heart of every blogger is a nude, fat man eating cookie dough."- Mark Twain

Greetings to thee, faithful blog friend. It is I, a Nude Fat Man Eating Cookie Dough, filling you in on the latest gossip from the Barca-Lounger.

Mother has just left for the Hospice Shoppe, so I am now unencumbered by my sheet. Propriety reign in this home. I am a nudist, but I am a nudist who gives thought to those close to him, my Mother especially. She finds my lifestyle appalling, but we have reached a détente. If I am to help around the home, per our agreement, she MUST respect my needs as a committed sensualist and free spirit. My danglies are my pride, along with my cats.

My dangly nethers are resting comfortably on the cool of the leatherette cushion, and I am as comfortable as a dauphin posing for some dank Flemish ponce.

 
Mind Games
Written by Kate Crash   

Become a fan of Kate Crash on Facebook.

daddy was dead & i liked being used
I shoulda probly taken a shower
Rinse off the fog I drew on invisibility
& youth
& barrel gun'd eeyes
that mirrored only dice
& worlds of ice & rust
& sweet white dust
& tattooed drums

 
Caves of Indifference
Written by Kate Crash   

On New Year's Eve check out Kate Crash headlining the Bondage Ball at Boardners. Kate has one of the most fun and electric live shows to come out of the LA scene in recent memory.

You may have found me laying in caves of indifference
Among the news telecasts and miniature oil rigs
You may have thought to have said something
But there was so much to look at

 
Violet
Written by Dve Howard   

 

Violet Leighton's first career choice was to become a nun. Not surprising, as most Catholic girls have reported wanting to join up with the penguins at one time or another.   Some say it is because of a closeness to God. For others it has to do with the  Maria Von Trapp fantasy, the Cinderella complex for Catholic girls.

 

 
Songs I Hummed Today
Written by Greg Mills   
I am an inveterate hummer and whistler, this in spite of having a horrible memory for melodies and being tone-deaf. I am also a terrible whistler.
But no matter. It's not my problem; it's everyone else's.
 
CTRL review
Written by Karen Woodward   

ctrl tony hale castI’ve been poking around Hulu.com during my funemployment time and came upon CTRL , an original web series. (It’s also on iTunes.) Now, I hate watching TV online and I hate webisodes, so I’m almost ashamed to admit that this one has me hooked.

 
Dear Texas: LEAVE ALREADY!
Written by Dave Howard   

Rick Perry Health CareAh, ya gotta love Rick "Love the Hair" Perry. The Secessionist in Chief of Texas is again rejecting free stuff for his people.  You may remember a few months back he threatened to secede from the USA. With Bush gone their was no one to babysit the largest state in the Union. A few years ago he gave film subsidies to filmmakers who would portray Texas in a positive light. he personally made script edits.

Now he is coming forward to reject any kind of nationalized healthcare.  He says it should be the states decision. And you know what? I agree. In fact, if Texas wants to secede, let 'em,

Texas leaving would be the single most effective cost cutting measure of the new healthcare plan.

 
Is Anyone Profitable?
Written by Crackpot   
Could the L.A. Weekly bee the most profitable ad sales paper in Los Angeles?

Even a casual glance at a regular edition of L.A. Times, Hollywood Reporter or Variety shows a definite lack of ads. Yet, L.A. weekly, the freebee standard of what is cool and hip packs more pages of ads than content. In fact, their first page mostly just directs you to their website, the rest is ads.

Why is that? Strippers and Pot Dealers need love too.
 
Surveillance: Lies R US!
Written by Dave Howard   

Survelliance 2009Let's say you are a Fed hot on the trail of a pair of killers and interviewing the only surviving witnesses.  The hitch is two of the witnesses are lying to you to cover their own crimes.

That's the premise of, "SURVEILLANCE;" a new fucked up thriller by Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David Lynch).

 
Experimental Marionette Troupe to Launch U.S. Tour
Written by Greg Mills   
Image
Former San Francisco Mayor,Gavin Newsome, is taking his show on the road.

The improvising puppet ensemble, "John Cage Memorial Marionette Touring Theatre" will take off next week on 135-city U.S. tour of abandoned copier shops. This report came from Gavin Newsome, former pole dancer and mayor of San Francisco. Newsome, recently shamed by an illicit affair with former mayor Willy Brown's hat, has left his post as mayor and decided to act as tour manager/dresser for this ground breaking tour. "I'm through with politics", said the swarthy and sexually ambiguous former mayor, "and marionettes? That shit is hot right now. Improvisational marionette theater is extremely hard to perform and rarely interesting for the audience, but the thought of spending time in all those creepy old copier shops is kinda exciting for us. "

 
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