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Written by Dave Howard, Karen Woodward, Greg Mills and Mali Finn
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Friday, 02 January 2009 |
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 After an exhaustive, if not squeamish, word hunt, the top notch team at Crackpot Press has put together this list of the worst words in the English language. Proceed with caution as these are some of the most stomach turning dazzlers of all. We suppose they could be used for dramatic effect if you were writing a story on sewer rates that you wanted to make especially creepy. If writing a love letter or instruction manual, I would say skip 'em.
Try to never use these again. You’re welcome.
The words we hate are: |
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Last Updated ( Friday, 02 January 2009 )
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Slight lessening of hatred of the season. |
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Written by Greg Mills
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Tuesday, 30 December 2008 |
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Greg can also be read at The Bastard of Art and Commerce
 Wife got fake tree, took portrait of boy under said fake tree. Cute. Small chink found in my hatred of Santa Claus, the Christian Church, the Jewish faith, Snow, the month of December, virgin births, Stockings hung with care, family functions, shopping, humanity,
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 30 December 2008 )
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Written by Kate Crash
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Thursday, 11 December 2008 |
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The Kate Crash Experience lives here.
 I want to crawl naked into her piano
Feel
her keys vibrate my better nature, my worst nature
sing into my skin
all my lovers lost thoughts and hands swallow me
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Last Updated ( Monday, 29 December 2008 )
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My grandmother's religion, as reimagined by Millions of Dead Cops |
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Written by Greg Mills
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Thursday, 11 December 2008 |
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 Live and Proud from the Bastard of A and C.
I came across a truly awe inspiring religious website, Death to the World. It's a the site of a Russian Orthodox Hardcore 'zine based here in Cali, and it is blowing my poor cracked little mind.
I was raised Russian Orthodox, and the church I attended was more Russian than Orthodox. The joke was Russian Orthodox Christian, in that order.
The Russian Orthodox Church I grew up in was full of pinched faced little old ladies (one of whom spit on the exposed toes of my then-sister-in-law, who had the satanic-inspired chutzpah to wear sandals in church, driving the men to distraction with her ingrown toenail). It was sighing about a Russia that never existed by people who had never been there, or were last there when there was a Tzar and St. Petersburg was called Petrograd.
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Last Updated ( Friday, 19 December 2008 )
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Video Pick: Star Wars Holiday Special! |
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Written by Administrator
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Monday, 17 November 2008 |
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 Today marks the 30th anniversary of one of the most disappointing moments in all of television history, “The Star Wars Holiday Special!”
In an episode that NO ONE in the Lucas crime family will actually admit aired, Harrison Ford, Mark Hammil, Chewbacca and the gang bond for some singing and dancing to celebrate “Life Day.” In true schmaltz seventies fashion.. the cast has special guest stars including Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman, Art Carney and the Jefferson Starship! Just as rushed as the stunt casting is the script which includes a four minute scene of wookies talking in their native tongue.. without subtitles. Now this special has been “lost” for quite some time, but here is a condensed five minute version.\ You’re welcome! |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 17 November 2008 )
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Straight Eye For The Queer Guy or Gal. |
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Written by Dave Howard
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Saturday, 15 November 2008 |
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 As are most people I know, I was extremely disappointed and disturbed by the passing of Prop 8.
My growing up is bit different than most of my other friends. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area theater scene, so during the 80's a lot of my friends were suddenly dead. I'm not saying that Reagan administration and the religious right killed them, but by not acting out of fear they could have spared millions of lives. Instead they attempted to define family values, rather than acting. I watched from a country away as my Uncle's partner of 40 years passed away in a long complicated illness. Yet he wasn't allowed to see him in the hospital. Then he endured a long legal battle as Doug's estranged family suddenly showed up after thirty years to fleece the savings the two had built over the years. I am for equal rights for all, BUT |
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 30 December 2008 )
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Can You Tell I am jet Lagged? |
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Written by Kate Crash
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Tuesday, 11 November 2008 |
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You can read more of Kate Crash here! Hey are you up? [awake/}
Night in this world of night
everlasting night
where the darkness of greed [and] human suffering
has been fleshed into a painting of stars
sketched with tug of war hearts
yeah me, me, I can't sleep tonight
why?
I don't know why
Maybe it's all this living in this world of night
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 11 November 2008 )
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FICTION
"At the heart of every blogger is a nude fat man eating cookie dough."- Mark Twain
Greetings to thee, faithful blog friend. It is I, a Nude Fat Man Eating Cookie Dough, filling you in on the latest gossip from the Barca-Lounger.
Mother has just left for the Hospice Shoppe, so I am now unencumbered by my sheet.
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OPINION
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For the first time in a long time I am voting for someone for President. Not that I don’t vote, I haven’t missed a presidential election since 1988 when I cast my vote and volunteered for the Dukakis campaign. I did lose a lot of respect for him when he answered the Bernard Shaw rape question by smiling. This has led to a long string of voting that I felt kind of half-assed about. |
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FACT
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Giant Robot is a magazine you’ll like. We’re sure of it. It’s nominally about Asian and Asian-American pop culture, with a nice side business on pop trash, vinyl figures, exploitation cinema and pretty art. But it’s really just the coolest magazine ever and if you have any appreciation of anything remotely RAD, you need to read GIANT ROBOT, or at least check out the Giant Robot Website
Thanks to our connections at magazine publishing’s highest levels (and an email Dave sent to Giant Robot), we snagged Giant Robot executive editor Martin Wong a grilled him mercilessly about running a magazine, and being all punk rock and shit. We attempted introducing the topic of explosive diarrhea, BUT WONG DIDN’T TAKE THE BAIT. Martin Wong will not be manipulated. |
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FLIX ARCHIVE
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Here is a message from John Cusack. Go see his movie WAR, INC! 3 NEW CITIES COMING---- BECAUSE OF YOU!--- IT'S WORKING!
now we step it up!
Remember that war inc is an interactive film experience— so lets remember these simple reminders!
Every time Hauser shoots’s hot sauce— SO SHOULD YOU.
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bring different kinds of hot sauce and PASS THEM AROUND...!
or DRINK HARD LIQUOR if you can smuggle it into the theater..!
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Sports! Archive
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The number one question I have been asked lately is “Why do the women wear bikinis at the beach volleyball events?” This is usually accompanied by a sneer that implies that I only watch the sport for the T&A. To which I always respond “You mean their uniforms? You don’t ask ‘Why does a ballplayer wear stirrups?’ It’s part of the uniform. My girlfriend and my best gal pal have both put me through the grinder on the objectification of women in sports. .It has been a dizzying onslaught of Platonic argument after argument that I simply can’t win. |
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